Monday, December 12, 2011

Subaru dipsticks, the intertubes, and me

Months ago I wrote about my "new" car. New to our household, anyway. New as of July 2010, that is, when I posted Elegy for a manual transmission. It's a Subaru Legacy wagon, vintage 1991.

Like I explained summer before last, we don't drive much. Maybe 2500 or 3000 miles per year between the two of us who share the vehicle. It's easy in our Berkeley neighborhood to leave the car at the curb: we walk; we ride our bikes; we live about a mile from where each of us works, give or take.

I used to do my own car repair. Oil changes, sure, but most everything else too, from installing brake pads to replacing clutches to fixing blown head gaskets. I rebuilt a couple of engines even, though they were Volkswagon engines, way over on the simple end of the spectrum. As a used-to-fix-his-own-car kind of a guy, I'm not going to forgo checking the engine oil even if my crawl under the chassis days are naught but a fond memory.

In this car, our '91 Subaru, it turns out you can check the transmission fluid and the fluid lubricating the differential gears as well. There are more dipsticks under this car's hood than I've seen in all my born days. But let's let that go for now. Let's stick to checking the engine oil.

Having had intimate relationships (as it were) with a variety of dipsticks over the years, I didn't think I could be surprised when I checked the Subaru's oil the first time. But in the event? Let's just say I was puzzled. It's like some engineer designed the Subaru dipstick while on very strong hallucinogens.

I mean, what's with the twist? Is this a dipstick or is it sculpture? Check out the photo (with thanks to Lone Ranger, from ndondo's thread on SubaruForester.org, linked below). See what I'm saying? It's like the guy who designed it imagined some gnome down there riding the crank shaft who might appreciate a dipstick with a certain je ne sais quois.

Okay fine. I pulled the dipstick out of the engine block, got over the twist, wiped, reinserted, waited a few seconds, pulled it out again, and looked at the oily end. S.O.P., right?

And what did I see? Well, there's a kind of U-shaped thing going on, oil climbing way higher on the edges of the stick than in the middle. But worse? What's worse is that the oil level reads differently on one side than it does on the other.

Not helpful.

I'm not the only one who has complained about Subaru dipsticks. I learned this from the intertubes quickly enough.

Strabismo asked on LegacyGT.com forums about three years ago, Has anyone figured out the oil dipstick yet? He got testier in the body of his post: "I've owned a Subaru for 4 years and I still can't figure out how to get a clear reading from that diabolical engine oil dipstick."

Diabolical indeed. Strabismo must have read Milton, who associated straightness with God and anything bent or twisted with Satan. Did you notice that when you read Paradise Lost? A useful bit of arcana pointed out to me by an excellent professor, the late Julian Boyd, who led me through Milton's epic for the first time.

On SubaruForester.org, ndondo asked a similar question. That post, Oil Change - how to read the Dipstick, is chock full of advice. I tried a number of the suggested methods, but none of them worked for me.

So I asked my friend Bill. Bill owns a Subaru Outback, and has for about ten years. He'd know, wouldn't he?

No, it turns out, he wouldn't. Bill hasn't been able to figure out how to check his car's oil for about ten years, despite the fact that he's a licensed engineer. A civil engineer. By this time, I was not feeling particularly civil toward my Subaru's dipstick, but it would have been wrong to blame Bill for that.

After a while I went to see my mechanic. Not for the dipstick thing, for a minor service. But I was there, right? So when I picked up my car the next morning I asked my mechanic to show me the trick.

There weren't any tricks, he told me.

He pulled out the dipstick, wiped, inserted it, pulled it out again, and there it was, just ... fine. You could more or less tell where the oil stopped and the no-oil began. And the dipstick read the same on both sides.

But ... that's not how it worked for me!?!! There had to be a trick!

Okay, okay, there's a trick, my mechanic explained. He hadn't started the car yet that day. Leave it overnight, he told me. Check it in the morning, before you drive. Stone cold. All the oil fully drained into the oilpan.

(Hadn't I tried that? Had I? Hadn't I tried everything???)

Maybe I hadn't tried quite everything. Maybe I hadn't even read everything. See, on that SubaruForester.org thread, somebody with the handle lfdal had written, "The only way I can get a reliable reading is to get a reading first thing in the morning."

Must have missed that somehow. Was that the trick?

After all those failed attempts, a long surf through the intertubes, giving up, then asking my mechanic -- which is what I should have done in the first place -- I gave it a shot. I tried the leave-it-overnight thing at home.

No dice.

Was it my mechanic's shop rag, imparting some magical quality to the dipstick that my cheap paper towel couldn't match?

No. No way. That's looney.

How hard can it be to engineer a dipstick that just ... works?



Related posts on One Finger Typing:
Fifteen authors: reflections on a Facebook 'you show me yours' list
Elegy for a manual transmission

6 comments:

  1. I know that feeling, Steve. For some reason, mechanics do seem have a trick to get things running the way we can’t. I imagine it must have been frustrating for you to be capable of almost every DIY car repairs except one. Nonetheless, I hope you have figured out that ‘magic’ for Subaru dipsticks. Good day!

    Diana Hayes @ Baldwin Subaru

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  2. There are three dipsticks on my 91 subaru what are they for two on the right oil and transmission the one the left what it for

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    1. Your best bet is to look at your owner's manual if you have it, there should be a diagram. If you don't have the original manual, you can view or buy or borrow a repair manual that covers your specific year (or range of years including yours) and model from an online or local used bookstore or your library -- Haynes and Chilton publish reliable manuals. On my 1991 Legacy there's a dipstick for the oil near the oil fill pipe; and two small reservoirs that have dipsticks as part of the reservoir's screw cap -- one near the front and just left of the middle of the engine compartment, for power steering fluid; and one toward the rear of the right side of the engine compartment for brake fluid. Look for labeling on the reservoir or the screw cap that identifies the function and type of fluid for each of the reservoirs.

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  3. My hawkeye has the same dipstick and not driving it for long periods of time is the only way to get a sure reading. Additionally on every vehicle I check even a 2018 Ford F150 I check it without running it and when the oil is dirty a trail of it will stick to one edge because the viscosity is off when its close to due time I guess. So I follow the part that looks more like it was dipped into a sump than any leavings from the filler tube. Found the article because I was wondering about the bend above actually not the twist. Guessing the bend is just for anti-rattle now that I think of it. I drove to 100 miles and let it sit for about an hour got a really poor reading so I added a quart but it didn't need it currently over full from the poor dip stick and me worrying. Hopefully not way over full I think less than a quart extra.

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    1. I think you're right, Nickelbawker, about the bend (vs. the twist): I agree it's probably to hold the dipstick firmly in place in its tube. Hope your extra quart isn't too much. I like to top-up with a fraction of a quart -- a quarter or a third, say -- rather than a full quart ... lessens the risk of adding way too much.

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